REVIEW: Dr. Jane Greer — Am I Lying to Myself? (BOOK)

Colin Jordan
3 min readMar 15, 2023

As Dr. Jane Greer brilliantly demonstrates in her new book, taking responsibility for one’s self is almost something of a personal art. It requires a thorough introspection of one’s self, in the process potentially facing challenging themes and memories that have led one to a state of cursed ‘Denial’. In Am I Lying to Myself?, Dr. Greer knows how to effectively manipulate her presentational style to appeal to the widest possible audience.



She maintains an interesting balance between the out-and-out sentimental, juxtaposed with personal stories about anonymous clients seen through the lens of an experienced, professional therapist. “For most people, (Denial) has long been a part of their conversations with family and friends as they deal with other people’s (Denials),” Dr. Greer writes. “When you are up against someone else’s Denial, it can be confounding to grasp how they can cling to their beliefs even in the face of the facts that refute them. It can be equally as insurmountable for you to recognize your own Denial.

So often it is that stubborn voice of Denial that prevents people from finding a way out of their unhappiness. How many times have my patients sat across from me after their Denial was finally recognized, asking, ‘how did I miss the signs?’ I will help you reach that point, too. I will show you how to squelch the tendency to let Denial rule your life by answering the important question ‘AM I LYING TO MYSELF?’ Remember when George Costanza famously said to his good friend on the hit sitcom Seinfeld, ‘Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it’? Well, I am here to tell you that is not true.”

Greer is not only able to highlight how Denial can play a pivotal role in short-term gain and long-term loss generally. She’s also able to delve into painful specifics related to this ideological presentation. “So often we find ourselves having to deal with family and friends — be it on holidays, birthdays, special occasions, or during simple visits — and realize we have a completely different set of beliefs from them,” she states. “Whether they are about religion, politics, or something else, not only can those differences ruin the occasion; they can threaten to compromise the relationship itself. It used to be that whom you voted for or what causes you supported remained private if you wanted them to.


But now more than ever it has become everyone’s business as simple, everyday choices can make a political statement…How is it that people ignore what they know? Whether it is that their brother does drugs, or their mother drinks too much, they keep approaching the situation as though that is not an established fact.

People ignore the obvious, sweeping things under the rug, to avoid unpleasantness and push away the facts that are staring them in the face. You may face denial from others, when a friend or family member pretends they have not done something wrong, or failed to do what they said they would…You will learn how to ‘see the light’ yourself, rather than continually trying to enlighten the other person, which is as futile as yelling in an empty forest, hoping someone will hear you.”

Colin Jordan



Colin Jordan

Graduate: McNeese State University, Avid Beekeeper, Deep Sea Diver & Fisherman, Horrible Golfer