REVIEW: The Respected Salesman — Arishma Singh (BOOK)

Colin Jordan
3 min readNov 23, 2023

“You must respect yourself before others will respect you,” Arishma Singh writes in her new book, entitled The Respected Salesman: How to Change Your Mind before You Change Minds. “This is a process that I know all too well… I was so caught up in working hard that I could not think of an alternative way of sustaining success. To me, everything was about the euphoria of chasing deals and crippling bouts of self-doubt, despite being on top of the leaderboard.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: https://www.letsengage.com/talent/arishma-singh

I put extreme pressure on myself, constantly stressing myself out and losing sleep as a result… If a salesperson hasn’t fully developed their mind, which involves developing respect for themselves amongst many other things, they will become too attached to the idea that sales is all about winning. This shows in their emotional vocabulary and behaviour. You have to get a ‘yes’ or you are somehow a failure. That mindset is what leads to salespeople taking rejection so hard that they struggle to move on from it. Instead of focusing their energies on a prospect who’s more likely to say ‘yes’, they fixate on the person who said ‘no’. For the salesperson, it has become personal.”

By writing in deliberately plainspoken, matter-of-fact, emotive prose, Singh is able to make sometimes depthy, complex concepts comprehensible to the widest possible audience. There’s also a refreshing element on behalf of the author regarding her willingness to showcase her own mistakes, hard-earned wisdom, and lessons learned. Singh doesn’t need to make her own image an absolute. In some ways, even the best of the best in business and leadership advice can fall victim to this irony. But Singh demonstrates through her openness about herself, analogously in context, and applying said openness to her overall corporate methodology strategy she showcases in the book. It’s called the THRIVE methodology. “It’s in examining burnout that we see one of the chief issues derived from a lack of respect in sales relationships.

And as anybody who has undergone these types of experiences before will tell you, this type of relationship simply isn’t sustainable,” she writes, in aforementioned vein. “The salesperson chases everybody, placing few barriers and leaving themselves in a position where the client can act as they please. The result is the constant state of stress that leads to burnout, which affects the salesperson’s performance. By trying to please everybody, you end up in a position where you can’t sell as your best self. The irony here is that you get a high client load — to the point of burning out — but you make fewer sales. Through the THRIVE methodology, you will learn strategies on how to deal with prioritising competing obligations.”

AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Respected-Salesperson-change-before-minds-ebook/dp/B0BV71DL52

She adds, “As the sales manager, think of yourself as the trigger that leads to the snow descending… To many in leadership positions, the salesperson is not somebody to be respected. They’re just the voice on the other end of a phone or a body that fills a suit. The salesperson doesn’t have any specific talents and their role can be replaced at a moment’s notice. Of course, not all organisations are like this, and I’ve been privileged enough to work with a number of companies that have more respect for their sales team. However, it is still a common perception, as well as being one that damages the respect you have for yourself.”

Colin Jordan

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Colin Jordan

Graduate: McNeese State University, Avid Beekeeper, Deep Sea Diver & Fisherman, Horrible Golfer